Moonlit Midwives - Soul Midwifery

Let's Normalize Healing in Love

Sawubona, God-dess

Eye welcome you to my safe space of healing. This journey has been beyond healing, immensely beautiful and has not even reached its peak. My journey into soul midwifery started when eye was a child and unaware of my gifts. Eye wasn't aware how my experiences dealing with life's woes, hardships, blessings and transitions would impact me and give birth to my current reality. My gift of sight manifested as a child with my innerstanding of dreams. Eye gave clarity to those who couldn't decipher the meaning of countless dreams. It wasn't until eye was studying for my Reiki Master certification that eye realized that eye began working as an energy worker in elementary school. Throughout my childhood, Eye would be asked by my family to help provide pain relief in way of back, feet and hand massages. My late Godmother would frequently ask me to help relieve the pain in her back due to the curve at the top and whenever eye would do work on her she found relief.

My journey of Shadow Work, Miscarriage, passing of Loved Ones and Hospice

Denial and Self Acceptance

It took many years for me to accept my Ancestral gifts and even when eye said yes it was not an easy journey that laid before me. Eye had fought so long to stop hiding behind the shame of being different. Eye opened my eyes to myself and when my Ancestral gifts started to unlock after being suppressed for so long it manifested in ways eye could have never imagined. When we stop using the gifts that were bestowed onto us, they are returned back to the Ancestral garden within. When we start to look within again and allow ourselves to be seen, the gift that once was does not always remanifest the same. The more eye unlocked and took time to heal my gifts grew with me. At first it was rough and intense. Eye didn't have a guide, guru or spiritual consultant to walk me through it. Eye had Spirit, Ancestors and Higher Self, eye was supported by my soul family through this time when we connected along the way. But in the beginning it was just me. My catalyst was after taking care of my father during the last year of his life and being shamed for mourning his passing by my ex-wife. My journey of accepting the cycle of life has brought an innnerstanding that has allowed me to continue to allow growth and heal Ancestral trauma for not only me, but my lineage. When we heal ourselves we heal not only our present self, but our past selves and the Ancestor who did not have the capacity to heal while they were still in the physical.

Miscarriage and death of loved ones

From 2007-2012 eye experienced a death each year from friends and family alike. After not having to experience much death in my life it hit me back to back to back. Eye didn't have the capacity to process my miscarriage in 2007 that followed after the sudden passing of my Godmother. Nor did eye have a break to breathe and take it all in. After my miscarriage eye suffered an infection from not getting a DNC, something eye was not aware of and not informed eye needed by my doctor. My body locked up on me and my college roommate rushed me to the ER and the nurse informed me that if eye had waited 2 more days eye would not be here. The following year my step-brother's life was taken from him, the next year was followed with my best friend/cousin overdosing and unaliving himself in his mother's home. Eye felt like eye was suffocating and became afraid to answer my phone because each time it was a phone call. Each year following there was multiple deaths and it was hard to breathe. In May 2012, my friend, her husband and their two children's lives were taken from them by a drunk driver driving back home. In September of 2012 my father was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal advanced prostate cancer and he smiled and said he could live just as he had. For the next year and half, he was in pain and hid it from all of us because he didn't want to appear weak. Eye was in denial because he looked the same and he was still working on cars just as he had most of his life as a mechanic. It wasn't until eye got the call that he had collapsed at work and his body locked up on him while changing someone's brakes. They had to carry him off the job and he ended up in the ER. As the months went by eye would get updates about how he was doing and he played it off as he would get better and despite me begging him to move to Texas to attend MD Anderson cancer department he declined. He didn't want to be away from my younger siblings and eye believe a part of him knew he didn't have much longer on this physical plane. In 2014, eye got the call that my father's life was declining rapidly and despite our family being big, he was not being treated right and didn't have anyone to take care of him. He was taken by ambulance to the hospital from a roach infested and disgusting home that he shared with his then ex-girlfriend. She was taking advantage of his Social Security benefits and there wasn't much he could do because so many had turned their backs on him. Eye was living in Houston, TX at the time and what couldn't fit in my car eye sold and drove non-stop back home. Eye took care of my father while working two jobs and in the midst of it all broke off my engagement to my then fiancée. Eye regret nothing! 2014-2015 was a year that will forever be etched into the depths of my soul. My father for the first time since coming out as lesbian told me that it didn't matter who eye loved as long as eye was happy and they treated me right because that's what eye deserved. Eye remember that day like it was yesterday and it still waters my soul garden. Eye took him to each appointment, watched him wither away before my eyes with each treatment, cry for the first time and not once did eye ever see my father as a weak being. It was not an easy journey because death is not something to easily accept and when you do not have a support system it feels like your soul is in quick sand. Fighting day in and out praying that you get another day and despite knowing that their time is coming to a close it still hurts like someone is ripping out your heart.

Hospice and Reawakening to Self

The day eye admitted my father to hospice was a few days after my 25th birthday and it was soul crushing. Eye visited him everyday while still working two jobs. Two weeks after admitting him eye got the call at work that they were moving him to his own room, which meant he wouldn't be on the physical plane much longer. Eye tried to hide my pain, but my manager knew eye was hurting and despite not wanting a hug he held me tight while eye broke down. Eye visited my father for the last time and slept in the chair by his bed. When eye woke the next day my father was surrounded by family and they were calling his name, but he wasn't responding. My father's eyes had been shut for 7 days and he hadn't spoken. They asked me to come talk to him and try to get him to open his eyes. Eye sat beside his bed and eye called out to him, "Daddy, Daddy can you hear me, can you please open your eyes they want to talk to you. Daddy please open your eyes." Eye was crying and he knew it and just before eye lost hope he opened his eyes and told me, "Baby eye am here, please don't cry eye love you." Eye told my father eye loved him and that eye would be back to see him after work. Needless to say, those were the last words my father spoke before passing, but eye didn't know he passed until eye was a few hours into my shift. Eye was my father's power of attorney and had to release his body to the funeral home. It was that day eye lost all composure seeing my father lifeless. Eye had to be strong and tell my siblings of his passing and get all the arrangements together alongside a few family members. Eye had become numb throughout the process and the day of the weight eye worked right after and the day of the funeral. Once after the funeral for the first time in years eye sat in my mother's lap and cried my soul out. Afterwards there was no support from family to process and grieve. Hospice offered counseling and eye was afraid of going alone and asked my mother to accompany me. She declined to attend and eye said ok, but inside it felt like a stake had been driven through my heart. Eye attended grief counseling with the hospice counselor and it was then that eye realized eye was angry at my father for leaving me. Over the next 7 years eye experienced the death of my old self through grief, facing my shadow self and fears, shedding light on the parts of myself that eye myself hadn't accepted, facing physical death again and seeing my life change in an instant before my eyes. Unable to hide from the shame and realizing that the betrayal started when eye was a child but was continued by my own actions. Finally choosing to break the rose colored glasses that eye hid behind for so long and from seeing the truth of my reality. Eye realized that eye had set the tone for how those around me were treating me. Doing the shadow work allowed me to innerstand my worth and set the tone for how eye deserved to be treated by others. Once eye saw myself for the first time eye vowed to never close my eyes again.

There is no denying the feeling that so many experience at the thought of death. The passing of a child, a loved one, a partner, friend or even death of self. When we hold it in it breaks us down slowly over time and the feeling of loneliness and survivors guilt can manifest. The thought of their life being taken too soon, holidays feeling worthless and wondering if existing is even worth it anymore. Whether it is the passing of a loved one or life-altering condition/situation that uproots and changes your reality, Eye am here to tell you that your pain and feelings are valid and yes it is worth it to exist. This life is not meant to be easy, but it is also not meant to be filled with sorrow, paying bills and loneliness. You deserve to live a life surrounded by love, abundance and joy and heal in love. This is the journey of soul midwifery and the one thing that is constant in life is birth, change and death. In this space, we honor your transitions, face all of self and honor each part of you that has contributed to what is you.

If you choose to allow me to aid you on this journey eye am blessed to accompany you just as eye have for countless others. If you choose to go elsewhere eye pray you get the clarity and healing you deserve. Eye love you.

-Ase

Tekina Ogygia-Onile

If you are ready to book your session click here

Page updated

Google Sites

Report abuse